decisions

ah, decisions. one decision affects another's life. on and on it goes, from generation to generation, person to person, situation to situation. i often fear the decisions others make. my natural inclination is to grab hold, to try to feed lines and thoughts that make others want to do what i want them to do. i think a more accurate word for that is manipulation. i want to be in control. i want to know that the things that are working, the blessings that are in place, will remain unchanged until i see the need for them to change. but no matter what i do or say, other people will make their own decisions. because i am not in control. i do not desire to be deceitful or conniving, to seek my own interest in any given circumstance. instead, i pray God will work in spite of me. i want His will more than i want my own. His peace. His leading. His decisions. He has never disappointed me. never left me alone. when things happen that threaten my world, that leave me fearing everything will be turned upside down - that's when greater blessings flow. in the end, it turns out much better than i could have made it myself. actually, it's perfect. and that's the way i want it. perfect. His way. for me.