faith

What is faith? At times it seems so nebulous to my mind, so vague and undefinable. Yet at other times it is the solid foundation I stand on, the binding thread that connects me to the Lord. Faith is trusting God to the nth degree, no matter what He asks me to do, no matter if I feel His presence or not. Faith resides in the deepest part of me, in my soul. It makes its home so deep within my spirit that I cannot be separated from it, even if I find myself distracted by the world or my own selfishness. Faith is God’s gift to me and my gift to God. It is the part of me that knows without a doubt God’s capabilities are endless. I am encouraged by acts of faith. I am encouraged by the possibilities that faith provides for my life. It is by faith that I know I am saved. It is by faith that I trust the Lord to be my compass. Faith is the essence of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Oh that faith may grow in my life, that I might get a handle on how pivotal such a magnificent gift is. I want to be a woman of faith. To be more faithful. I believe I am a woman of faith. I am faithful.

wisdom

I'm deeply attracted to wisdom. It enthralls me and intrigues me, and i find myself craving it. I read about it in the Bible, and I want to grab hold of it; it's something I want to define me in a way, to permeate my entire being. Wisdom is spiritually attained; I believe it comes most fully through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I can't quite define wisdom, but it gives a deep sense of right, a knowledge of what is the best way, of what steps should rightly be taken. Wisdom calls aloud, the Bible says, wanting me to chase her and grab hold, to listen and be aware. The Bible personifies wisdom, brings her alive and gives her personality. She is pure and holy, complete and beautiful. Wisdom calls to my soul like a cool rain on a hot day. May I drink of her fully and find myself revived.

Exhaustive Effort

Sitting. Relaxing. Breathing. Three activities that go hand in hand, yet hardly involve much effort. Yet the effort to make those three things happen at once is exhaustive in itself. It’s rare that I find a moment where I have truly relaxed, truly taken cleansing breaths, truly sat in peace. I long for the day when I can more fully understand and grasp the concept of relaxation. I’m trying to work through all the anxiety in my life, to get it to dissipate and leave my inner psyche alone. Somewhat difficult, but highly attainable, if I understand the Lord correctly. He is the great Overcomer, so if I stick close by Him, I’ll overcome, too. And not just overcome, but be abundantly victorious. Sometimes the path to that feeling is long and hard and bumpy, but I am on that path, and for that I’m thankful. I’m supposed to be watching for signs from the Lord, whatever form they may come in. I pray for discernment and wisdom, for open ears and a listening heart, so the Lord may speak what He desires to speak. There is nothing I love greater than being in tune with the Lord. He is my Rock and Foundation, my strong Fortress in whom I take refuge. Praise be to God.

imitation

my daughter imitates me. she does it when i least expect it, and i constantly find myself amazed at the things she picks up from me. yesterday we were doing a show in maryland, and i was onstage doing conforming cross. kathlene told me that all during the skit, eden was standing with her arms in the cross, swaying back and forth and saying, "mama." how much more precious can a child get? she says things like "oh man," "oh my," "take a look at this," "open up wide," "oh pretty," "oh yeah." so many things. my heart gets all warm and tingly when she tries to be like me. i find it the highest form of flattery. even when i think i'm not getting through to her, i meet a moment where she's picked up on something i had no idea about. how special it must feel to the Lord to see me imitate Him. the most precious way i can show Him how much i adore Him is to copy Him, to try to be like Him, to do what He does. my baby teaches me more about Jesus everyday. Praise God.

The First

ah yes, this is the first writing, and it isn't even by me.